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March 18 2017

Reposted fromtgs tgs viaschlachtoros schlachtoros
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I will never not reblog this. The 2 guys in the back are just ❤❤❤

Always reblog.

people who get hyped up for other people are the greatest people you can have in your life.

Reposted fromkefka kefka viayetzt yetzt
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"Been stuck in traffic for the last 10 minutes in Euro Truck Simulator 2. What am I doing with my life?"
Reposted fromckisback ckisback viaschlachtoros schlachtoros

Humans are adorable.



Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

This is pretty great

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Reposted fromjottos jottos
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Reposted fromjottos jottos









All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.

the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn

By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.

She had an orgasm so intensely polite it brought her Tim Hortons and apologized for taking so long.

the Canadian Orgasm™

I don’t know how to describe the noises I just made.

I think I want to move to Canada

I’m crying

Reposted fromnaich naich viajottos jottos
Reposted fromNaitlisz Naitlisz viaschlachtoros schlachtoros
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Reposted fromgainaxing gainaxing viajottos jottos
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Reposted fromkatsiu katsiu via919 919
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Reposted fromjottos jottos



remember twilight and how edward and bella couldn’t do it bc edward was afraid he’d fuck her to death?

i remember bella willing to die for the dick

Reposted fromerial erial viaschlachtoros schlachtoros
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Reposted fromnyaako nyaako viahindsight hindsight
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Reposted fromnyaako nyaako viahindsight hindsight


thinking you’re running out of time is your brain lying to you.

you have a life time. you have tomorrow. time is fucking relative okay, and you’re not racing anyone here unless you have some weird bet running with someone. in which case you sort of made that bed for yourself i am sorry.

my point is, try not to let your brain trick you into thinking you are losing at life because you aren’t at x arbitrary milestone. life rarely comes down like a lightning bolt from on high and slaps you in the face. you are living now. you’re doing fine.

Reposted fromwritingfish writingfish
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